Monday, May 7, 2007

10 ways to boost your self esteem, with a little help from Saturn

What have Greek mythology and hand analysis to do with self esteem?
Everything it seems.

Looking at how these two connect helps us to better understand the dynamics of what pulls self-esteem down and how to build up genuine self-esteem permanently.

Everything in your life hinges around having a healthy self-esteem. Self-esteem is what enables you to bounce backafter failure or rejection. If your self esteem is not high enough you're not likely to go out there and put yourself at risk. Problem is, if you don't go out and make mistakes you can't grow or improve.

Millions of highly talented people keep their lives on ice for this reason. It's a simple domino effect, and it all boils down to low self-esteem.

Many of us try to build our self-esteem from the outside in, rather than from the inside out. This is where the wheels fall off. We'll be talking about this later.

Sometimes self-esteem is the dominant lesson you are here to master this time round. When this is the case, it will show up in your fingerprints.

One can think of the hand as a mini cosmological map, with Saturn in the center. Saturn is the middle finger and is very much the backbone of your hand. Just as dealing with Saturn issues are the foundation to leading a successful life.

So who is Saturn and what does this have to do withself-esteem?

In mythology, Saturn is an old grumpy god (also called Cronos) the god of time who was notorious for eating his children (to prevent them overthrowing him!)

Saturn's favourite topics are time, money, order, work,discipline, responsibility and completion. Saturn was also the god of the harvest and in this zone his major lesson is, 'As you sow, so shall you reap.'

Saturn can be a hard taskmaster and his lessons can be brutal if you don't listen up.

What has this to do with your middle finger?

The shape, thickness and length of each part of your middlefinger, as well its overall condition (crooked, straight orfalling over) and everything in your hand under this finger (lines, grills, diamonds, stars, warts and so on) indicatevery specific information about how you are dealing with Saturn related issues.

So, what has Saturn and middle fingers to do with self esteem?

Self-esteem is the currency you earn if you start paying attention to Saturn.
Saturn's main job is to get you to pay attention. To become crystal clear of all the choices you're making in everything you think, say or do. If you don't like the results you're getting in life, or you ahve low self esteem, it's time to start making different choices.

Everything is energy, including self esteem. So, check in with yourself regularly and do an energy audit. How does this choice make me feel?
Am I losing energy?

All Saturn issues are related to integrity. Integrity with others (honesty) and integrity with oneself (authenticity).

Whenever we move away from integrity, guilt kicks in and whenever we feel guilty our self-esteem drops.

An effective way to understand how this works is to take your middle finger and hold it up all on it's own. You'll find you're making a rather rude sign. Saturn is all about learning the consequences of acting or thinking in this way. Or allowing others to behave in this manner towards you.

The thing about Saturn issues is that they often seem so small and mundane that we tend to sweep them under the carpet and focus our attention elsewhere. This is how Saturn trips us up time and again, and this is how our selfworth erodes, gradually, sometimes without us even noticing.

So how do we build self-esteem?

First let's look at what not to do! A classic mistake many of us make regarding self-esteem isto try to build it from the outside in.

We do this by trying to look good in other people's eyes, by saying yes, when we should be saying no, or by focusing blindly onawards and certificates rather than take time to consider the things that really matter in our lives. (I'm an expert here because I've spent much of my life falling into both these traps. That's why I have a pilot's licence, a scuba instructors licence, a yachtmaster licence, heaps of sport trophies and a string of degrees all gathering dust somewhere.)

Genuine self-esteem is built from the inside out, through absolute integrity. (This doesn't mean being self-righteous. It means being honest with yourself and with others, it means learning to say no instead of agreeing to do something when you know you don't have the time or the inclination; it means keeping the small promises you make and not making promises you know you can't keep. It also means holding other people to their small agreements even if you fear they may not like you as a result or if it's easier just to do it yourself.

A good example of this happened to me recently.

We were area river nearby and my son wanted to bring home yet another bottle of tadpole eggs. He was furious when I said no.
'Why not?' he asked sullenly.
'Because we already have 200 tadpoles in our kitchen andyou don't feed them or change their water.''
"Yes, but they are still alive!' He replied, triumphantly.

Now whose fault is it for him growing up thinking tadpoles can live on fresh air and their water stays clean quite mysteriously, all by itself?

We get caught in a classic Saturn trap here and this can bring our self-esteem down big time if we don't pay attention to what's really going on.

What would have happened to me if I didn't say no? and,
Why do I still feed the cat or the tadpoles when this wasn't the agreement?

Unclear 'contracts with loved ones' is a common Saturn theme.

Why do we let loved ones get away with not keeping their side of a contract?

These sorts of decisions have consequences that erode us energetically without us even realising it's happening. It doesn't help to rant and rave. The only thing that helps is to cancel the broken contract, like a bank does when a bond hasn't been paid. What would happen to the bank if it allowed us all not to pay our bonds each month? It would go belly up. Just like we do on another level, without really realising it.

Self-esteem is built through authenticity. It's about standing our ground. Showing up for ourselves and standing up for what we value, often in very small ways with family and friends. Self-esteem can be built using any of the Saturn issues mentioned earlier.

John Dryden once said, 'We first make our habits and then our habits form us.' Look at the habits you have formed around each of the Saturn issues below and see where you can improve them.
· Responsibility. Self-esteem is about learning to take100% responsibility for your life. As long as we blame others we can't take control and fix what's not working for us.

· Discipline. When you start making steps, no matter how small, to develop self discipline, this is when Saturn really sits up to applaud and starts showering you with self-esteem big time.

As Jim Rohn says, 'to have an incredible increase in self-esteem, all you have to do is start doing some little something.'

It doesn't really matter what area of your life you tackle first. The key is to take small steps where you can't fail and to keep taking them consistently.

'A jug fills, drop by drop' Buddha

Whether it's an apple a day for improved health or a phone call a day to move your business forward, when we stick to our agreement with ourselves every day that's when we really start to build self-esteem.
Of course, the danger is to get over enthusiastic. Avoid taking big steps where you're just setting yourself up to fail. Take small steps that seem easy but make a difference over time.

· Completion. Again, if we focus on finishing all the really small things around us we get huge returns. (Jack Canfield recommends making an irritation list. List all the little things around your house that irritate you but you no longer see. Take one day and complete as many of these as you can.)

Saying things to others that have been left unsaid for years is another part of this. It helps us bring our energy back into present time. You can't be here and in tune with your in the moment intuition if your spirit is still in hundereds of uncompleted dialogues.

· Order. This is similar to completion. Clearing clutter both physically and mentally helps us unblock our energy and saty focussed.

· Time. which is really a subcategory of order. Prioritise your day
I love Jim Rohn's way of putting it:
'Finish your day before you start it.'
This helps us to be focused rather than scattered.
· Money. Earn your money with intergity, to others AND yourself by doing what you really love. You have a unique talent to offer the world.
If you're not sure what this talent is, hand analysis can help. Hand analysisc an also help you see what's holding you back and what youcan do about it.
· Gratitude. This doesn't really have anything to do with Saturn but who cares?
No matter whom or what it is you are dealing with, always come from a place of gratitude. This enables you to keep your vibration high and therefore attract more positive things into your life.
Building your self esteem is the key to unlocking your full potential .

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