Thursday, March 13, 2008

Can you do cartwheels?

Jules is on the trampoline practicing his somersaults. It's been
a long process getting to where he is now. His aim is to land on
his feet after each somersault. These days he does
occasionally get it right but, more often than not, he lands
flat on his bottom.

Does this faze him? No! Almost before he lands, he's up again,
ready for another attempt.

Watching him makes me think about us adults. How many of us
actually allow ourselves the luxury of so much trial and error?
We all know practice, practice, practice makes perfect. But
somehow most of us try to skip the icky middle part of the
sandwich.

Why?
We judge each botched attempt as 'failure' rather than what it
really is. Just another attempt. If only we could learn to
praise, even celebrate ourselves, just for being out there
trying, we would change our results dramatically.

The other thing that trips us up is we think we have an
audience. Usually a whole tribe, with bones through their noses,
baying for our blood or waiting for a good excuse to laugh up
their sleeves. This is an illusion!

Maybe the only way around this is to play with the illusion.
Visualise your whole tribe, bones and all. And see them cheering
and pounding drums every time you stand up for another attempt.

Paul Scheele, father of photoReading did an interesting
experiment once to demonstrate how we learn. He got 2 people to
undertake the same task in front of a large audience.

One got an alarm each time he did something wrong. The other got
an alarm each time she did something right. The difference in
results was astonishing. The one froze after a while and eventually and gave up. The other achieved the goal in practically no time at all and walked away feeling like a queen!

The question is, can we adjust our own inner alarms so that they
don't blast us out the water every time we dare to actually
practice? Can you reward yourself for trying, rather than beat
yourself up for not getting it perfect each and every time?

Back to cartwheels.

Ever since I watched a dear friend do cartwheels across the road
at a cycle race I've secretly wanted to do them too. They seem
such a fun, playful way to express
being-alive-and-well-and-happy-to-be-on-this-planet-in-this-
particular-body-at-this-particular-moment-in-time.
That was 20 years ago and still I can't do cartwheels!

Why not?
Fear of falling. Fear of looking like a fool while falling.
And stalling: putting things off til tomorrow!

So, what to do?

There are 2 healthy choices and one unhealthy one.
The healthy choices are: Either give up on the dream and make
peace with this or actually walk through these fears to the
other side.

The unhealthy choice? Keep saying: next year I'll do it!

Why is this unhealthy? Because every time you promise yourself
something and don't carry through, you're training yourself in
failure. Do this often enough and it becomes a habit that'll put
your life on autopilot in exactly the wrong direction.

Okay then, cartwheels here I come!
Yiiiiiiii, what have I said?

Once this choice is made, how does one actually walk through the flames?

Nothing beats finding a helping hand. Someone you trust like a
big safe cushion. Who'll keep applauding every fluffed attempt.

That's another area we slip up. Even if we know someone like
this, we're often too shy to ask them for help. We simply don't
realise that most people would feel honoured rather than put
out.

So?
I've enlisted my son Jules as my trainer! He's already moved me
from straight rolls to knee flips. His reward? He gets to crack
the whip and mama jumps! But, what if he laughs?
I'll simply have to read this as affection!

Before I could finish writing this, we had a big storm and
Jules's trampoline did a few cartwheels all on its own. Luckily
Jules wasn't on it or he could have ended up like Dorothy, in
another land altogether. It needs repair but there's an upside:
it was on a slope and, until now, he could only really
use half of it. Now there really is no excuse not to dig out the
entire area underneath it or reinstall it in a better place.


Good luck with your own cartwheels this week,
in whatever field you care to make them.

If you're feeling shaky, think of me and my 9 year old
sadist..Yiiiiiiiiii!!, thank God for wind! ;-)

Jena


PS: If you'd like to improve the cartwheels in your life,
the first step is to figure out what pattern they follow.

You can do this through hand analysis.
http://www.handanalysisonline.com/consultation.php

PSS: To learn how to use the info in your hands for more health,
wealth, love and happiness, go here:
http://www.handanalysisonline.com/members.php

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