On being more self supportive
“You can't help someone get up a hill without getting
closer to the top yourself.”–H. Norman Schwarzkopf
If there was anyone who really needed to read a blog
on self support last week it was me!!!
Is this fact positive or negative?
This question is the starting point and the key.
We support ourselves when we realise that no matter who we
are, where we are, or how disastrous our lives are right
now, there’s always one thing that we alone control fully.
And by changing this one thing we change everything.
So, what is this one thing?
Everything in life has a flip side.
The question is: which side do you focus on?
Do you look for the advantage or do you trip over the
Is the glass half empty or half full?
Were your parents real scumbags or did you choose them
carefully to help you become who you are today?
How you interpret past and present experience is the main
trip switch that overrides your entire circuit board. Flip
this one switch and you change everything in your life
within the wink of an eye.
(There’s a beautiful Zen poem on this.
It says: a split hair’s difference and heaven and hell are
And it’s so true.)
So, how do we flip this switch?
This is a technique called ‘reframing’.
And it’s the single most useful tool you can have in your
‘self support’ toolkit.
Here’s an example from my life: Once, a zillion years ago,
I was taking part in a triathlon (SA champs 1988?) Going
round a corner, I dropped my water bottle full of precious
energy supplement. I was way behind some other girls (far
better swimmers) and still had 30km of cycling and a 10 km
run ahead. When I dropped that bottle I could have said,
‘Oh no, I’m buggered!’ and then I would have been. But, by
some miracle, I didn’t. Instead I told myself, ‘Obviously I
don’t need that today. It’s just extra weight to carry.’
Then I put my head down and in the end won that race, much
to everyone’s surprise.
The point is: we can’t change things that have already
happened. But we can change our interpretation of events.
And reframe it so that it supports us rather than gets in
This is where fingerprint analysis is so powerful. It helps
you reframe your past, by understanding that you chose your
parents for a reason. And that everything that’s happened
(and is happening) is for your benefit.
The Chinese have always known about this. Their word for
‘crisis’ is made up of 2 other words/symbols. One meaning
‘opportunity’ and the other ‘chaos’. In every crisis, as in
every single moment in our life, we are faced with one
basic choice. Positive or negative? Heaven or hell?
How else can we be more self-supporting?
By managing our energy (keeping one’s vibration high)
By getting quiet enough to listen to inner guidance.
By acting on intuition immediately
By reframing the past.
By loving what is.
By taking full responsibility for everything that happens
in one’s life.
By developing bone deep honesty with ourselves
By examining the choices we make. Are they based on fear or
By changing these choices if they do not serve us.
By developing healthy personal boundaries
By showing up for our selves
By keeping the promises we make to ourselves
By respecting our own time
By replacing habits that don’t serve us with ones that do.
By trying to change no more than one habit at a time.
By taking small consistent steps instead of big irregular
By being a person of action instead of reaction
By not putting our life purpose on ice
By feeling the fear and doing it anyway.
By formulating clear, precise goals
By not quitting
By surrounding ourselves with supportive people
By actually asking for what we need or want
By finding a mentor and/or positive role model.
By getting someone to hold us accountable.
By joining a mastermind…..